it’s not a lack of willpower—it’s a way of holding what we feel
There’s something we often notice in children:
"They spend too much time on screens."
“they struggle to put them down."
But if we look honestly…
Many of us experience the same thing.
Checking our phones without thinking.
Staying longer than we intended.
Looking for that moment to disconnect.
And an uncomfortable question appears:
Why is it hard for us too?
It’s not just a habit—it’s a need
Screens are not only about entertainment.
They often serve an emotional function:
They distract the mind
Soften the intensity of the day
Fill uncomfortable silence
Offer a quick sense of relief
We don’t always choose this consciously.
But something in us is looking for it.
Fatigue shapes our choices
After a demanding day, energy is low.
And with it, our capacity to choose intentionally.
In that state, the body doesn’t look for what’s ideal.
It looks for what’s immediate.
And screens provide exactly that:
Quick access
Low effort
Constant stimulation
So it’s not simply a “bad habit.”
It’s a response to exhaustion.
The lack of real pauses
In many routines, the day doesn’t include true breaks.
There is always something next:
work
home
responsibilities
children
And when a small moment finally appears…
We don’t always know how to be in it.
So the screen fills that space.
Not because it’s the best option.
But because it’s the most available one.
The mirror with our children
Sometimes we want our children to reduce screen time.
But they observe more than what we say.
They notice:
How we use our devices
When we turn to them
How hard it is for us to stop
Not with judgment.
With imitation.
And this opens something important:
not only guiding our child…
but also becoming aware of ourselves.
It’s not about doing it perfectly
Realizing this can bring up guilt.
But that’s not where this needs to go.
It’s not about removing screens completely or getting it right.
It’s about building a more conscious relationship with them.
Small shifts that create space
You don’t need to change everything at once.
You can begin simply:
Noticing when you reach for your phone without intention
Leaving small screen-free spaces in your day
Choosing one moment to disconnect
Allowing boredom without filling it immediately
Not as a rule.
As a practice.
This is also self-care
Sometimes we rely on screens because we don’t have other accessible ways to rest.
So instead of only removing them…
It can help to add other forms of pause:
Silence
Conscious breathing
Gentle movement
Simply doing nothing
Small things that don’t create more overload.
🌿 Free Resource: Digital Habits Reflection Template
We’ve created a simple tool that includes:
Questions to observe your relationship with screens
Key moments in the day to identify patterns
Space to choose small, realistic changes
📥 Download the Reflection Template
(A first step to notice without judgment.)
Closing reflection
Letting go of screens is not always easy.
Not because you don’t want to.
But because they are often holding something deeper.
And maybe you don’t need to remove everything.
Maybe you need something more honest:
to notice what you’re looking for there… and begin to offer it to yourself in other ways, little by little. 🌿
Y. Vargas. 💬💖
